This story is from a woman I met several years ago. I hope this will encourage women who have experienced what she experienced including the loving grace of God. <3
His name would have probably been Isaac, and his brother, possibly Jacob, and their youngest sister, Rachel. Some women have one abortion, maybe two, but three is unheard of. And yet, she had three of them. Each decision was faced alone. No one was there to support her, help her or encourage her. Words like disappointed, how could you, what were you thinking, I’m not ready to be a Dad kept going around and around in her mind. But with each decision, her heart was breaking. It went against what she believed, however, she couldn’t even go to the one place that could’ve prayed for her, helped her, or would have been there for her. She couldn’t even go to her Pastors.
Why? Because she grew up in Church, and girls who go to Church don’t get pregnant. She had lost her way. And there was no one left in her life that understood her. Once these decisions were done she hid herself in booze, drugs, and me… trying to hide her hurt, her pain, her shame, for those decisions she made; trying to hide in the darkness that consumed her, because she couldn’t see the light that would save her from her own guilt-ridden destruction.
She wondered if her aborted children would forgive her, would her children love her, would God forgive her, did He love her, could she even forgive herself. She wondered how they would look like, what they would do with their life, how they would impact others in their life. She envisioned the colors of their hair, their eyes, and the passion in their hearts. Would they be teachers, musicians or dancers; would they be doctors, humanitarians, or in the military? Would they love life, love people, or love animals? What would their aspirations be, what would their struggles be? Would they know that Mom and Dad would always be there for them, and love them?
Well, her life would go on, she would marry one day and have children, be a soccer mom, and do all the things that moms are capable of doing for their family, but every now and then, she remembers, and thinks about them. Hoping that the day she goes to Heaven, that they will be there with open arms waiting to hug her, greet her, love her, in spite of the decisions she made to stop God’s life plan for them.
You see, God’s word says that He watches us as we are formed in our mother’s womb. That for each life, there is a plan that He has created before the foundation of time. But when we decide to stop that plan, we forfeit their presence in this world to be loved, to know love, to be and become who God destined for them to be. We eliminate the opportunity for them to fulfill that life plan created just for them.
In time she finally learned how to forgive herself with the grace of God, and she even surrendered her self and allowed God to forgive her. Now, as she lives according to God’s plan for her life, she patiently waits for the day when she heads home to Heaven, to see her children. She longs for the day when her children will say: We love you Mom, and we forgive you.