The day you shared your heart, the secret you were holding back…I cried, I died, I fried…. into temporary oblivion. I kept crying out: Not that Lord, not that one… NO… I’m not going to accept it, I won’t, I can’t, it hurts and yet, I knew it, but I didn’t want to say it out loud, for fear of confirming one of my worst fears… why, Lord, why?
I tried to train up my children in the way that they should go… I pushed in prayer, intercession and spiritual warfare. I professed, declared, prophesied, established, pressed toward the mark, fought the good fight, and ran the race, reaching for fulfillment of the promises that You gave me.
Oh man, Lord!!! Ugh!!! Why???? There I was, on the floor, travailing in cries, that were so deep and so hard I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t speak, I thought I was literally going to die.
Yet, after the crying,the travailing, experiencing the deepest pains rendered and thoughts of failure as a parent, You came Lord, and gathered me into Your arms, held me tight and said “It would be alright.”
You told me that You knew my heart, heard my prayers, and promised me… You promised me… that if I would “seek first the kingdom of God and its righteousness, that all things would be added unto me.”
If I took care of the Body of Christ, You would take care of my spouse, my children, my parents, everyone in my life… and I know that You will Lord, and that You are…for Your word does not come back void, but fulfills and accomplishes what you send it out to do. (Isaiah 55:11)
But it hurt so bad Lord, so bad… and yet like every ouch, Daddy comes, and puts medicine on it, LOVE, and then He covers it with a band-aid, MORE LOVE, and allows it to heal and become whole again… because of His LOVE
If it were not for Your LOVE, I would never be able to LOVE and not just LOVE, but LOVE the way Your LOVE… And I LOVE my family, the one You gave me, in spite of our own quirks… because it is: All for ONE and ONE for all~because of YOUR LOVE~