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Today was really rough.  My child yelled at me today.  Told me that it should’ve been me, not Dad in that car that crashed.  It should have been me who died that day.  I could see the anger about the whole thing… and I would be lying if I said that those words spoken in pain didn’t hurt my heart, because it did.  But I knew that those words came out of a broken heart.  Those words came out of the confusion and chaos that was now surrounding this child, who could not understand why… why did Dad have to die.  I just held on to this child, who needed to know that I cared and that I understood, the pain, the hurt, the sorrow.  I needed to reassure this hurting child that it would be alright, and that it was okay to feel these feelings, but we would get through them.

I tried not to cry, but the tears were there, the heartache was beginning, but I held onto my faith, and the strength that God instilled in me, so that even though I needed comfort for my heart, for my soul; even though I needed reassurance that it would truly be okay… my child’s comfort and peace of mind mattered more to me than my own.

I have come to realize that we make so many sacrifices in our lives for relationships, employment, society, and for family.  And each sacrifice is never easy, but when you are holding the heart of a child in your heart, some sacrifices are just a given, given with unconditional love.

The greatest love is when one lays down their life for another; and most definitely… when we lay down our heart to comfort theirs.  (John 15:13)

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